definition of a date

I haven't really been holding up my end of this blog. Jordan has been doing basically all the work. So I finally decided I'd contribute in a more meaningful way. 

A friend at work asked me a good question. I don't think he really wanted an answer, but it got me thinking. He asked me, "What counts as a date?" Now that's an awesome question. Every relationship counselor, pastor, or super old married couple would tell you that it's important to have a date night, especially even after you're married. So, since we are self-proclaimed Date Bloggers, I thought it would only be fitting to put forth a Dating Manifesto.  

"Guidelines"

There's a simple adjective that can be the lifeblood of a date. Special. What is special about your date-night/afternoon/morning/weekend? 

"Special"

Interesting activities, sentimental locations, evidences you've been listening, or even straight up expense can all contribute to the specialness of your date. The core of your date should be that you consider your beau or belle important enough to set apart dedicated time to him or her. 

"Plan It" 

Now I'm talking to you, men. Your girl needs to know you think about her. A lot. You can prove this in lots of ways, but what will really pack an emotional punch is if she knows that when you pick her up and take her out, you have a plan. This shows her the date is more than a duty or an expectation, but rather something you're really looking forward to throughout your week! 

So plan. Plan an elaborate date that goes all wrong (been there), plan a simple, relaxing date (we're there a lot), plan a spontaneous date (we'll never be fully there unless I have some personality altering brain trauma). She will not feel special/pretty/loved on your date if she knows you gave no thought to the event beforehand, but she will feel extremely loved if she knows you gave the date some meaningful musings beforehand. 

"Eat" 

Jordan's helping me out with this post: 

I turn to her and ask, "What else does a date need to have, other than being special, and being planned?" 

Without hesitation she sheepishly responds, "Food...?" 

This can be negotiable, but if your love is as crazy for culinary concoctions as mine, food can form the epicenter of your date. It is never a bad idea to include a meal, or even a snack, in your date. Food is how humans bond, so don't leave that card un-played in your dates. That said, Jordan and I have always agreed, a date cannot be just a meal! 

 "Multifaceted" 

Sometimes the more facets the better. It's a fun date idea to just try to see how many different distinct activities or elements you can fit into one date! Or maybe you've both had a long week and really need some down time--choose easy facets: 

Ex. (1) on your way home from dinner (see paragraph 7) pick up a glass bottle of each of your favorite type of soda*. (2) Once home, put on your PJ's, (3) pop popcorn, (4) put extra butter on your popcorn, (5) warm your blankets in the dryer, (6) put your favorite movie in, and enjoy. Make sure you are intentional about the facets of your date!

"Learn" 

Ultimately, the goal is to learn about the kind soul who has graciously agreed to date you. You have no idea how many interesting thoughts, emotions, quirks, beliefs, and aspirations are tucked into the being of the man or woman sitting across the table from you. Ask questions. Ask really good questions. Remember what you find out. 

So there are your totally non-scientific requirements for what constitutes a date. In summary, it should be special, planned out, edible, multi-faceted, and educational. Get good at dating. You'll be glad you did.

*N.B. Sam would have chosen to use the word "coke" instead of "soda" here but Jordan insisted that would be confusing to our non-Texan readership.

tea // love songs

We went on a Saturday afternoon date this time. It was relaxed but included lots of our favorite things!

lunch. big al's

activity. dragonmoon tea co. and playing music

One of my very favorite places to eat lunch in Tulsa is at the corner of 15th and Harvard. Big Al's is technically a healthy food place but it's so much more than that. Almost every sandwich comes in different forms: wraps, pitas, and paninis. Yum.

It's a very non descript place but worth venturing to.

Sometimes you need to go with something simple. Every date doesn't have to be super fancy!

 Sam got the tuscan turkey panini and I got the avocado delight pita, size small. Avocados are one of my favorite things in the whole wide world.

After lunch we went to the cutest tea room, Dragonmoon Tea Co. It has nothing to do with China, although I thought so for the longest time because of the dragon reference.
The people who own and operate this place understand and adore tea. I like wine, but sometimes the descriptions say that it has "hints of oak" or "overtones of blackberry" but I can never really taste it. With tea, if they say it's "chocolatey," you can taste it, but moreover, you can smell it. Tea smells really good. 

It's in a super cute old house that has been redone. Today, it's a quaint spot for an afternoon tea. Someday we will take some friends and have high tea (tea, sandwiches, soup, dessert). It seems like it would be so much fun.

I got a scone, but I should have gotten the chocolate thing Jordan ordered. It was delightful and rich. 

Ginger Scone + clotted cream.
Still not sure what is so clotted about the cream. 

The BEST baked chocolate pudding. They change desserts daily but if you like them on facebook, they'll post when they are serving this. If you see it, go order it immediately.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing guitar, ukulele, and singing songs we like. We recorded some on our new computer but weren't quite brave enough to post them online. It was really fun though because Jordan never used to sing in front of me, but she's starting to! Oh, and below are our pensive album art photos. 

shirt. gap

watch. timex weekender

pants. old j.crew similar here

socks. gap

shoes. johnston and murphy

I fell in love with the pear sweater around December. They put it on sale recently and I immediately snatched it up! I've worn it way too many times since that day.

oxford. similar here

sweater. j.crew

shoes. similar here.

Go drink some tea. Maybe we'll get some snow :)

string art // surprises

Our first valendate was so great. Sam had decided to make the entire day a date for me (even though we were both at work). In the morning, I was given a stack of envelopes and told to open the first one when I got to school. Each note throughout the day came with sweet words and a surprise treat. 

One note told me to get a vase ready. Sam brought home the most beautiful arrangement of flowers. 

Funny story about these flowers. I work about 25 minutes away from our house and didn't fully anticipate what kind of challenge it would pose to bring a large vase full of water and flowers home. Oh, and I drive a standard. There were a few scary moments but floral arrangements are worth a little bit of danger, right? 

dinner. tucci's

activity. string art

bow tie // fox and brie

shirt // gap

cardigan // gap

jacket // banana republic

shoes // johnston and murphy

 Tulsa has quite a few good places if you're looking for a fancier dinner experience. I chose one of our favorite Italian places, Tucci's on Cherry Street. Jordan spent a summer in Italy and swears that their Penne l'Arrabiata is about as close as you can get in northeastern Oklahoma. If you go, order it. We also splurged this time for their Artichoke Cichetti (pretentious name for "Artichoke Dip"). Incredibly satisfying meal altogether. 

In one of the notes, Sam told me to wear heels. I am absolutely the worst at walking in heels. But it was really fun to be all dressed up and fancy for this date. If you haven't noticed yet, oxblood is one of my favorite colors to wear. 

top // similar

skirt // anthropologie (old)

tights // similar 

belt // j.crew

shoes // borrowed from mom

Our first detail shot. Sam is getting better at photography :) 

Jordan says it's ok to take pictures that do not include the subject's face. 

One of the last cards of the night announced our activity. Sam said that he loved doing all sorts of activities with me, even crafts. We got home and he had all the supplies to do string art! If you don't know what I'm talking about, imagine the manliest craft you can think of. That's pretty much it. Nails, hammers, boards, it's all there. In fact, Sam did much more of this craft than I did.

We basically followed these instructions completely. It took much longer than I had anticipated, but it was worth it.

And here's the finished product! After only a couple bruises and two nights of working on it (not to mention a pretty nastily punctured thumb). I'm pretty proud of my crafty husband. 

candy hearts

After being together for four years, Sam and I have never celebrated Valentine's day. Not because we aren't romantic or we don't like going on dates (because we obviously do). It's just never worked out. Until this year. I am beyond excited for our date on Thursday. Since he plans all our dates, I thought it would be fun if we worked together to come up with some date ideas for you! These are all things that you can do in Tulsa, but they could definitely be adapted if you live elsewhere.

super-romantic date

dinner. tuccis

dessert and drinks. cosmo's

Put a little Marvin Gaye into your Valentines Day by treating your Bette Davis to a decadent and fancy evening. Grab your best slacks and your nicest tie and muster every ounce of middle school Catillion manners lessons you can remember. She won't take it for granted. I promise. 

via how sweet eats

via pickyin

budget-friendly date

dinner. andolini's

dessert. s'mores over candlelight 

activity. fort

My awesome co-worker Meghan gave me the idea for this theme. Everyone wants to do something special for their loved one on Valentine's day but it comes at an un-opportune time for us. Right after the holidays and most of us don't want to leave the house because it's so cold. Andolini's is a super charming pizza place on Cherry Street in Tulsa. I recommend splitting the S.P.Q.R. After enjoying your pizza and maybe some of the amazing garlic knots, take your date back to your place. 

via design sponge

Bringing your lady home to a beautifully crafted fort will surely make her smile. You could read your favorite books out loud, watch a super cheesy romantic movie, or just roast marshmallows over candlelight. Whatever you do, a fort date is one she will remember!
If you happen to leave the TV in view and have Netflix up and running, check out Parks and Recreation Season 2, Episode 16 (Galentine's Day) or 30 Rock Season 3, Episode 11 (St. Valentine's Day) for a few V-Day laughs.

via wedding chicks

So what will we be doing this Valentine's Day? Check back in a few days and find out! 

aquarium // art

Sam's birthday was this Saturday. We didn't get the chance to go on a traditional date, but we did have a lot of fun celebrating 23! Far too many restaurants were visited to talk about each one, so I picked out a couple notable excursions.

Thursday night my parents and I gave Sam his birthday present. I think it's safe to say he was pretty excited. 

 First two albums I own -- The Smiths' "The Queen is Dead" and The Decemberists' "Picaresque." Perfect choices, In-Laws! 

dinner. smoke.

activity. the aquarium and philbrook museum

On Saturday, Sam's parents came into town to celebrate his day with us! We had a ton of fun going to the Oklahoma Aquarium. 

I concluded that fish are weird. 

Sam had been wanting to visit this place for four years and we finally made it! It's completely worth the trip. I learned so much about aquatic beings and the shark tunnel was amazing.

We don't have a picture, but google "african mudskipper" if you want to see my favorite. It looks like a grumpy man. 

After lunch we ventured to Philbrook Museum of Art in Midtown Tulsa. It was once known as Villa Philbrook, the home of oil maven Waite Phillips and his family. Now it houses amazing art from all around the world. Every second Saturday of the month the museum has free admission. 

When it's not an frigid and rainy day, the grounds of Philbrook are what draws most attention. On this day, however, I was more than content to peer out from a warm room.

As we walked around the museum, Sam's mom had everyone taking stock of what art we would like to take home, if given the option. I probably took the game too seriously.

You can't tell but I'm translating the latin on the frame. Old habits die hard; thanks, Mr. Bogan. Hopefully you will continue to read the rest of the post despite my very nerdy confession. I promise 1/2 of the people writing this blog are really cool. 

Matching sock buns.

The verdict? Sam wanted that giant modern art painting. 

The texture is amazing and the colors just kind of smack you in the face. 

And I will gladly take this captivating portrait of Greta Garbo by George Hurrell when the museum is done with it. I still can't take my eyes off of the photo. Now, off to watch Ninotchka, where I will fall more in love with this actress.

It was a great birthday weekend, thanks to all our friends and family! Thanks so much to the Moyers' and the Graves's for helping to make my birthday special! 

arcade // pearl district

This weekend was quite a treat. TWO dates in less than 24 hours. We spent Friday night with some of our dear friends, Paige and Chris. They have been friends for years but only recently started dating. It was a lot of fun getting to see them in this new phase of their relationship. 

dinner. mi cocina

activity. the max retropub

I forgot to charge my camera so Friday's pictures are sub par.

The boys took us out to delicious Mexican food. 

Chris and I finished somewhere between 8 and 10 trays of chips before the real meal arrived.

Tacos mi tierra. Spicy but amazing.

If you look closely you can see Paige's tiny plate of food. Oh, The risk you run when you order off the menu.

Caution, our dates are dangerous...-ly fun!

A sign I spotted. My kind of hours. 

I am generally skeptical of bars, especially for our dates (not usually our scene), but this place came highly recommended. If you're interested in NBA Hang Time, Pacman, or Skee Ball (or drinks named after 80's celebs) gives this place a try. 

In all honesty, Paige and Chris won the skee ball tournament with a final W-L-T record of 2-1-2. 

...

I was somewhat disappointed with the lack of photos from Friday, so the wonderful husband suggested we do a take two. A Saturday morning date? Great idea!!

coffee. the phoenix

activity. centennial park and made

The pearl district is just minutes from our home. Full of beautifully curated new shops and our new favorite coffee shop with downtown as its backdrop, the pearl district is a must visit. 

Hopefully you've stayed awake throughout this twice as long post...

This place is incredible. Besides making me crush on pink velvet furniture, it is entirely BOOK themed.  Coffee and books are the greatest things in the world. 

Tulsa is sleepy on Saturdays so standing in the middle of the road is safe.

And yes, same cardigan as the night before. When it works, it works.

Made is the coolest store. It's called an indie emporium and it sells treasures made by local artists. I just had to go into their new location across the street from the phoenix. 

And we walked away with this beauty. I cannot wait to hang it above our new desk! 

Jordan let me pick between two prints. This one has a rabbit and reminded me of the graphic on my first skateboard. Had to go with it.